Learning the Art of Gratitude
We recently started working on colors with my 3-year-old nephew and it’s just fascinating to watch him learn something new and just run with it. The way his little yet powerful brain makes connections is just mind-blowing! Once he learns a new color, he starts pointing it out everywhere he looks.
“Blue. Captain America has the color blue, and that’s blue car and Nina, your shirt is blue too!”
All of the sudden, that newly-found color, which has been there all along, comes alive to him.
It’s a life principle that can be proven again and again, whatever you look for, that’s what you’ll find.
A few years ago, I found myself in a dark place. My dear aunt Sayfohn, who was one of my best friends, had just been diagnosed with an advanced and rare form of cancer. On top of that, I was walking through a heartbreak, the kind that makes it hard to breathe, you know, where it feels like your heart is in literal physical pain, yea, that kind.
It was awful. Days felt long and nights were heavy.
I wanted my joy back, my life back. One day, while being at Cedar Sinai in Los Angeles to accompany my aunt during a week-long round of chemo, I felt God invite me to what seemed simple but felt hard, “Ivette, will you give thanks even when you’re in pain?”
When you’re in that kind of heartache, all you want is to be okay again. Here’s the thing, more often than not, the healing will require us to partner with God. Yes, He could do it without me, just step in with might and power and make all things right in a single moment but I’ve come to learn that God is more concerned with changing me than with changing my circumstance. He often does the latter but the greatest and lasting fruit comes from the former.
I had just finished reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, where she shared her journey through counting and documenting 1,000 simple moments she was grateful for in the middle of a hard and heavy season. I now felt God asking me to do the same. Everything was changing and I had lost the illusion of control I had convinced myself I once had, but what I did have was a pen, paper and eyes to see the God prints in my everyday life.
So, I started, right there, in the oncology waiting room. I started looking and counting, I started giving thanks in the midst of my pain. I reached into my bag, pulled out a notebook and titled it: My List of One Thousand
Honestly, I didn’t feel like doing it but my soul needed it. In that cold waiting room, I began,
God, thank you for:
1. Vanilla chai while I wait
2. Kind faces in the radiation center
3. Pistachio macaroons from Lemonade
4. Finding a fresh new pen in my bag
5. Sweet text from friends, just checking in
I still can’t point out the exact moment when things shifted, but my heart began to change. All of the sudden, I was going through my day looking for what to write down next. What could I pull out of this day to give thanks?
Psalms 84:6-7 describes the process of refining that can take place in the valley of tears when we choose take refuge in the goodness of our God,
Even when their paths wind through the dark valley of tears,
they dig deep to find a pleasant pool where others find only pain.
He gives to them a brook of blessing
filled from the rain of an outpouring.
They grow stronger and stronger with every step forward,
and the God of all gods will appear before them in Zion.
John Maxwell says “whatever you focus on will expand”, and it sure felt that way! Day after day, my gratitude expanded my perspective of God. I did not make God bigger, He already is, but I now had a clearer view of just how good and great He truly is, in spite of the pain. Despair will distort our vision but gratitude will protect our perspective, to see God for who He really is - good, kind and faithful.
Nothing around me got better, but I began to experience a closeness to God and finding joy in mundane. Every one of them felt like a kiss from heaven saying,
Ivette, I see you.
I’ve got you.
I want to see you too, God, right here and right now and so, I counted on...
69. Mom’s tea for a sore throat
70. Sweet Mondays off
71. Morning coffee for getting through first day back
72. My job, those kids and the lessons I get to take from them
73. Tonight’s sunset, painted pretty
The more I looked, the more I found, the more I found the more I thanked and as gratitude increased so did my joy and in turn, my heart began to heal.
291. A sweet Día de la Madre
292. New notebook
293. Clean sheets, fresh air
294. For 2 Corinthians 10:5
295. Another friend expecting a baby!
I started a gratitude practice out of desperation, now it’s simply how I function. Gratitude has become a core value of my life. Giving thanks has become a weapon that I use to protect my joy and make room for more of God in my everyday. I’ve recently switched to doing it in my Start Today Journal, which I LOVE! Every morning I write down 5 things I’m grateful for from the previous day. My life is not perfect, there are still things missing and I still mourn losses, but I’m here, God is with me, He is for me and so, I’m grateful. Looking back with gratitude for things both big and small, builds our faith and hope for tomorrow. The same God who showed up for you then will do it again.
Here’s my challenge to you friend, look for God’s goodness throughout your day and you will find it. That’s a guarentee. Gratitude is the posture of a heart that has decided, not only to choose joy but to fiercely protect it. It’s the resolve to always believe that He who promised, is Faithful to be with you until the end. So, grab your pen, notebook and open your eyes friend, He’s all around desiring to show Himself close to you in the middle of the mess.
“…thanksgiving always precedes the miracle.” - Ann Voskamp
Photography by Annette Vasquez Photography